I used up all my tears as a child crying over stupid shit, like crying and hiding in fear from the flying monkeys at the Wizard of Oz on ice, so I can't cry anymore. In my defense, the concept of flying monkeys that terrorize people is pretty terrifying.

My proudest moment in life is doing an impression of the wicked witch of the west saying “poppies, poppies, poppies will make them sleep” in front of my whole family when I was 4. It was captured on video, so you can see how proud and entertained everyone was. That is the gold standard of success in my life.

My life is filled with highs and lows, only some of which revolve around the Wizard of Oz. The past is behind me, and I’m looking to find new things to be afraid of.